I have a chronic illness (MAV), the details of which I won't bore you with, but you could always Google it, if you were interested. One side effect of having a chronic illness sometimes is depression. Depression occurs because all you can see are the long years ahead of you, suffering in the same manner, without a break and you think, "heck, can I do this?"
Today, is one of those days for me. MAV controls so much of what I do and as I won't ever escape it, I sometimes worry about the future. I have four children, the eldest 15, twins of 14 and a ten year old with ADHD, ODD and autistic traits similar to Aspergers.
That's a lot of hard work. My husband does a lot and without him, I'd be completely lost. Our home life would not be as great as it already is and I reallydo appreciate all that he does for us.
But sometimes, despite chronic illness, you have to find something you can yourself that will lift your mood. Something that will let you forget the pressures of the day and allow you to relax and think about something else.
Sewing does this for me. Sewing allows me to forget how ill I feel, or how crappy the day is and allows me to get creative. To feel the fabric in my hands, to admire the beauty of its pattern, or colour, or the way it will go with another fabric. I love to sew a seam and see a beautifully straight line, or the fact that the stitches are hidden completely. I love it when a project goes right and I create something so beautiful, or exquisite, I'm happy to just sit and admire it and think, "I made that".
Sewing is therapy for me. It's therapy for a lot of people. The art of taking a needle and thread and using it to piece together an item is soothing and relaxing and calming. (As long as we don't go wrong and need to use the old seam ripper!)
I can't imagine NOT sewing. I can't imagine someone saying to me that I could never do this again. That would kill me. Maybe not physically, but the devastation would be pretty bad.
Today is a bad day. So I will sit and handsew my applique and know that in an hour or two, I will feel better about everything. My mood will lift and I will probably be embarrassed that I have written all of this.
But I felt that this was important to share. This is what sewing means to me. It is not just a hobby. It is not just something for me to do. It is a passion. It is a need.
And it keeps me going.